I recently saw a photo of a very good acquaintance on Facebook. It suddenly stirred me with a longing and a realization of missing this man. The photo was taken in the “olden days”, pre- pandemic.
Why did I suddenly long to see him? Why did I have a sense of worry about him? I know he’s elderly and the vulnerability of people known and not known getting ill is very real. The sense of loss permeates us more than we might otherwise be consciously aware.
I missed him because of his warmth, his being present when I chatted with him socially, his enthusiasm for life and for that present moment. Mostly, I missed him because of his enthusiastic presence of inhabiting the moment, seeming alive in a glorious way of just being himself, and radiating happiness at just being present.
I want you to think about who you miss. It might surprise you. It could be an acquaintance, it could be a friendly bank clerk one hasn’t seen in months, it could be the face giving you that early morning coffee in some little corner store. These people are our community. Not necessarily the obvious ones we don’t see, family, parents, friends. Of course we miss and long for them. But what about people we share the planet with and realize when the loss is palpable, that you miss them? What do you miss? Their smile, their presence, their simple connection with you, humans alive sharing breathing, laughing and life. Knowing they are in that same space as you. I miss this elderly friend, and when the pandemic is over and I can socialize and he will be there, I’m going to be sure to give him a hug, should that day ever come.
Who do you miss? Why do you miss this person? What do you miss about them?
In thinking about this, I feel have validated and honored a person on the periphery of my life and I was surprised by the power of that simple connection. It’s truly a gift.
I hope you think about this and honor the people you miss in your own way….
Brenda A. Lewis, LCSW
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